Fight-or-Flight Response
Picture this: you’re working through a tricky maths problem with a student, and suddenly they freeze. Their eyes glaze over, they avoid your gaze, and it feels like you’re talking to a brick wall. Or perhaps they snap back with a quick “I can’t do it!” and push the paper away in frustration.
These moments can leave you scratching your head - but what if they’re not just about the task at hand? What if your student’s brain is telling them to fight, flee, or freeze because it feels overwhelmed or unsafe? This is the fight-or-flight response at play. Let’s unpack what’s happening and, more importantly, how you can help.
What is the Fight-or-Flight response?
The fight-or-flight response is our body’s built-in alarm system. When the brain perceives a threat—whether it’s a bear in the woods (hopefully not in your sessions!) or fear of failing in front of peers - it releases a flood of hormones like adrenaline. These prepare the body to either fight the danger or escape it.
In the classroom, threats don’t come with claws or teeth. Instead, they might look like:
Being asked to answer a question they don’t feel prepared for.
Feeling judged by peers during group work.
Facing a task that seems impossible to complete.
The result? Your student might…
Fight: Snap back, get defensive, or lash out.
Flight: Shut down, avoid the task, or retreat into their shell.
How to spot Fight-or-Flight in students
Recognising the signs is key to providing support. Look out for:
Body language: Fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, or crossed arms.
Verbal cues: Responses like “I’m rubbish at this!” or “What’s the point?”
Behavioural changes: A normally chatty student going silent, or a calm student suddenly becoming irritable.
The key thing to remember? These behaviours are not about you - they’re your student’s way of coping with stress.
Your Fight-or-Flight Toolkit
Once you recognise fight-or-flight kicking in, here’s how you can help your student come back down to earth:
Make the session feel safe
Use a calm tone of voice and relaxed body language.
Reassure them it’s okay to struggle - mistakes are part of learning!
If a task feels intimidating, frame it as a challenge you’ll tackle together: “Let’s figure this out step by step.”
Break tasks into bite-sized chunks
Huge tasks can feel like mountains when stress takes over. Break them into manageable steps, like paving a clear path.
Celebrate even the smallest wins: “You’ve nailed the first step - great job!”
Introduce grounding techniques
Teach simple stress-management tools, like:
Deep breathing (in for four, hold for four, out for four).
Clenching and releasing fists to release tension.
Keep it fun - ask them to count objects in the room or spot three things of the same colour.
Give them space
Sometimes, stepping back is the best way to move forward. Offer a “reset” moment: “Why don’t we take a quick break and come back to this in two minutes?”
Reflect and reassure
After the stress has passed, have a gentle chat:
“What was tricky about that for you?”
“What could we do differently next time to make it easier?”
This builds trust and resilience, helping them feel better equipped for future challenges.
The Science-y Bit (Because It’s Cool)
Did you know? The fight-or-flight response is a leftover survival mechanism from when humans had to dodge predators. It’s not so useful when facing an exam question, but the brain doesn’t always know the difference.
Your job as a tutor is to help students shift from survival mode back into learning mode. That’s where the magic happens!
A Challenge For You!
Here’s something fun to try: during your next session, keep an eye out for small signs of fight-or-flight. If you spot them, try using a grounding technique or breaking down the task, and see how your student responds.
Got a brilliant tip of your own? Share it with us! We’d love to feature your ideas in a future newsletter or Skills Hub Article.
By recognising and responding to the fight-or-flight response, you can transform moments of stress into opportunities for growth and connection. It’s just one more way you’re helping your students grow into giants.
Keep calm, and keep inspiring!